Jack and Jill vs. The World

Finally, a new entry in the flagging ‘Commodified Misanthropy’ genre– a niche that, once dominant in the world of Independent-insofar-as-it-is-made-by-a-smaller-studio-that-is-owned-by-a-larger-studio-that-is-owned-by-one-of-the-five-companies-that-owns-the-entirety-of-everything Cinema, has fallen on hard times since the mid-to-late-nineties when Aaron Sorkin and Paul Simms reconstituted a pure strain of ‘Screwball Quirk Utopia’ (first discovered by Ernst Lubitsch in the 1930s) and everybody decided that they would rip that off ad infinitum instead (when they weren’t ripping off Wes Anderson).

Or even while they were.

Some Pretend Follow Up Questions

1. This doesn’t count as acting.

2. Is that Lindsay Lohan? Or Time Machine Nicole Kidman? I honestly can’t tell. Is it? This is really throwing me off.

3. Is this a movie that you will be able to pay money to see in theaters, or is it one of those fake movies that is a parody of a shitty Hollywood movie that is on tv in the background of a movie that is already pretty shitty itself?

F-

What Have We Learned

This is the most half-half-half-hearted (= one-eighth hearted) commodifying of counter culture clichés since The Burger King Kids Club. And that’s not even what that was, so I really must not like this very much.

An Imaginary Answer Key

1. True 2. No 3. Even as a bad parody trapped inside a bad parody this movie would be completely tone-deaf.